Author Topic: Cosplay Etiquette (Read 7374 times)

kit2kit · « **on:** March 17, 2011, 01:02:46 pm »

I don't think they were yelling. Its hard to yell though text, you know, unless Caps Lock is used. I think they were simply just trying to explain and it came off as harsh to some, even though it wasn't intended to. This seem to happen a lot through text.

Also what would someone possibly say to you that would ruin your weekend? As I say to my friend, I don't think anyone is going to come up right in your face and point out every little flaw or tell you how much they dislike your costume.

TalaRedWolf33 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 17, 2011, 04:23:01 pm »

Quote from: kit2kit on March 17, 2011, 01:02:46 pm

I don't think they were yelling. Its hard to yell though text, you know, unless Caps Lock is used. I think they were simply just trying to explain and it came off as harsh to some, even though it wasn't intended to. This seem to happen a lot through text.

Also what would someone possibly say to you that would ruin your weekend? As I say to my friend, I don't think anyone is going to come up right in your face and point out every little flaw or tell you how much they dislike your costume.

My first kumoricon in 07, I was doing my first cosplay, and a group of naruto cosplayers laughed at me and said i was a crappy Hinata (which is who i was cosplaying as) because I was fat. In 08, I did my first Wa Lolita and because I was new, i used shiny fabric and had a coreset style obi. I admit, it was horrible, but one girl who was dressed in lolita told me I looked horrible and that I shouldnt do cosplay anymore. People are rather mean to me all the time. Im just one of those girls who gets **** everyday by everyone.

luvan1me · « **Reply #2 on:** March 17, 2011, 04:31:52 pm »

@kit2kit: actually they do -.-" that's why i hate kcon most of all :/ never have i hated a con as much as that... (other than MEWcon)
but that doesn't make me NOT want to go. unlike MEWcon, that con i will NEVER be going to EVER again...

@tala: they were just being really rude, and i sadly know those people, not personally, but i do see them on here a lot, and have seen 1-2 of them IRL. but this shouldn't hold you back to do what you want! DO NOT TRY TO FIT IN! TRUST ME! i have tried that for 18 years of my wasted life and after 2 years of me trying to break away from my wanting to please those around me, even though they are complete ****, i finally decided that i want to do something that makes ME happy

do the cosplay! i'll even go around with you when i'm free that day

and if anything happens come to the registration table, and i will be there

i don't think people understand that COSPLAY isn't just art, it's suppose to be fun too. i love cosplaying cuz i get to be with my friends, but i get to show off w/e character or costume i bought/made, etc.

if people can't see past the horribleness or messy-ness that is your cosplay, and get to know you as a person, then forget about them ^_^ they aren't worth your time.

(there is such thing as cosplay lolita

i pulled it off last year at MEWcon, and i will be doing so AT sakuracon AND for kumoricon for the dance. so they can go SHOVE it! ^_^ my definition for that is actually a character from a series/game etc IN lolita attire :3)

ANYWAYS! IF you ever need help with your cosplay let me know! or for anything! shoot me a PM

p.s. i thankfully didn't get anyone to tell me that cuz i take A LOT of pride in my cosplays, and in 09 (my first kcon) i cosplayed Gumi from vocaloids and haruhi suzumiya her OP first season outfit, and only a very few took pictures of me. (well gumi WAS new and only TRUE Haruhi fans know that outfit)

but those people are just PLAIN rude and need to go get their mouths taped shut. if they can't be a PROFESSIONAL cosplayer, and give you constructed criticism or at least be more nice to you, they shouldn't even be considered cosplayers. i call those WEABOOS, even if they cosplay like an Otaku. they are rude, immature, and just plain, annoying. i may be a perfectionist, but people like that need to seriously go away.

@random · « **Reply #3 on:** March 17, 2011, 04:47:50 pm »

Constructive criticism ("that fabric is too shiny", "it looks like you might have had trouble with XYZ, did you know there's an online tutorial for that?", etc) is good. Being hurtful just for the fun of it is something you'd expect from a child that needs to go to timeout, and it doesn't make anyone's life one bit better.

I understand that for some people it's SRS BSNS, and if that makes them happy I'm glad for them. But for the rest of us, the key word is cosplay. I wish more people would be mindful of that.

If people would like to keep talking about the subject, I can split it out into its own thread. IMO, it would be a good topic as long as it stays away from trying to call people out.

@random · « **Reply #4 on:** March 17, 2011, 09:37:02 pm »

Okay, topic's split now... have at, about anything related to how cosplayers should treat each other.

_{Just please keep in mind that calling specific people out if you think they were mean isn't kosher, any more than it would be for them to call you out and be mean to you.}

luvan1me · « **Reply #5 on:** March 17, 2011, 10:25:09 pm »

@random: thanks! and i never say names unless it's if we are addressing said person to talk to them like i am to you

(of course w/o hurtful vengeful things said XD)

Washougal_Otaku · « **Reply #6 on:** March 17, 2011, 11:19:32 pm »

Quote from: TalaRedWolf33 on March 17, 2011, 04:23:01 pm

My first kumoricon in 07, I was doing my first cosplay, and a group of naruto cosplayers laughed at me and said i was a crappy Hinata (which is who i was cosplaying as) because I was fat. In 08, I did my first Wa Lolita and because I was new, i used shiny fabric and had a coreset style obi. I admit, it was horrible, but one girl who was dressed in lolita told me I looked horrible and that I shouldnt do cosplay anymore. People are rather mean to me all the time. Im just one of those girls who gets **** everyday by everyone.

Those people (especially the Naruto cosplayers) need to be punched in the face. I say if people can't give positive critisisms, (that doesn't look right to me...), then their opinion is automatically voided out. You're not doing it for them; you're doing it for you, and that's what matters the most to me. If people offer to give adviceo on how to improve your cosplaying abilities, then their voices ought to be heard, for consideration at least.

luvan1me · « **Reply #7 on:** March 17, 2011, 11:37:11 pm »

amen brother! >.<

i love it when people can give me help on how to improve my cosplay and maybe some hints on how to avoid certain scenarios, but it's terrible when people just say crap. it's like hearing a crazy loud mouth child trying to prove a point even though their argument is not going anywhere and just going EVERYWHERE instead of focusing on the main problem. so yea -.-" i ignore that kind of insults and ask true artists about what i can do to improve my work

nikkiolie · « **Reply #8 on:** March 19, 2011, 08:56:46 pm »

I have been lucky enough to never have anyone tell me I suck to my face or hear someone do that to another persons face. I used to be very judgmental but it has changed so much and even where I was I would NEVER say anything like that to someones face.

Malaria · « **Reply #9 on:** March 19, 2011, 09:04:15 pm »

I think it's sort of a given that there's a pretty big difference between people being assholes and people offering a concrit. But I think, if you aren't open to it or weren't expecting it, even the concrit could be really annoying. Sometimes there's a feeling of dude, I'm just here to have fun in a costume and for right now, I'm not gonna shoot for 100% accuracy or whatever.

nikkiolie · « **Reply #10 on:** March 19, 2011, 09:18:28 pm »

I think getting critique is nice and all but I don't think it is appropriate while AT a convention. When you are at a convention there is nothing you can do to fix it and thus the rest of the con your mind will be focusing on that one critique.

superjaz · « **Reply #11 on:** March 19, 2011, 09:25:09 pm »

Ah reminds me of one charity auction where some naruto peeps were yelling at my pronoucation of naruto, ranting that its NARuto, but ya know? I had the mic

Mean people sadly are everywhere, and they like to make them selfs feel better by belittling others. I don't get it but hey that is they're bad vibes to deal with.

It can be hard to dress up in funny clothes you made yourself. It takes somthing out of you. If some one tries to say somthing wrong with what your wearing, call them on it, like "what would you suggest as you seem to be an expert?" or Hey if I have a budget must be nice not to. Or heck even, "wow mean much?" Some times people don't realize how negative they are till they are questioned.

MiriaRose · « **Reply #12 on:** March 20, 2011, 10:09:03 am »

I'm all for concrit- That is, if I ask for it, or if I post it on the internet because if I'm posting it on the internet then that means I probably want concrit. But if I'm at a con, I really don't want someone going up to me and saying what's wrong with my cosplay.

Nobody's ever told me flat out that I suck, which is surprising considering my first few cosplays really did suck. Massively. Still, though, I was pretty aware that they did, and so if someone had just flat-out said that it would've been annoying.

Mew*Haruko · « **Reply #13 on:** March 20, 2011, 10:13:48 am »

Some people are so rude these days. ): Don't worry. They were just jealous.

Gryffinclaw Princess · « **Reply #14 on:** March 20, 2011, 03:04:55 pm »

My first two cons my cosplays were all closet cosplays with like...a really crappy skirt sewn together or something.
This was because I didn't have money to have someone make something for me and I wasn't confident enough to sit down and actually try and make something myself.

Easy enough to say...they were crap. My Matt wasn't bad because my mom made the vest for me but the wig wasn't the right color and didn't fit but people still recognized me because it was when Death Note was at it's peak.
But I never had someone come up to me and say I looked like crap. Even when I was wearing a crappy cosplay. People kind of just ignored me which I was used to. I knew it looked like crap but I wasn't going to let that stop me in my fun.
Even if someone came up and told me I would have gotten angry and probably tossed a rude sarcastic comment their way.
Not everyone has the money or the skills to make amazing cosplays so people should just lay off.

veraca · « **Reply #15 on:** March 21, 2011, 04:52:18 am »

I'm all for receiving critique and all, but if someone would come up to me and say it looks like crap I'd really question them on the spot of what would you change or improve if you had to sew by hand and this was your first try? My first handmade costume of Yuna a couple years back was crap, but it was very obvious I did it by hand or wasn't sure what I was doing, so no one came up and spoke to me about it. In that kind of scenario I might've liked a kind person to come up and offer how I could've done things differently. *shrugs* I'm still confused on how certain things work from fabric cutting to sewing it together, even if I understand the geometry of it I can't seem to get it!! *curses*

If someone had a panel that was like "Cosplay Improvements" where a few people could offer themselves up for critique from a group of people - either the people hosting it or the crowd - it might be helpful. Not just to the one being exampled, but to people learning how to do stuff. Likewise, if I can see a costume not on someone and then also on someone - like two of the exact same costume - and you can see how they're made and how they're fitting then it makes more sense. And having someone explain how and why they did such and such angled cut, blah blah.. That's really helpful.

luvan1me · « **Reply #16 on:** March 21, 2011, 01:00:57 pm »

that cosplay improvement panel sounds really good actually, i just wish someone could, cuz i'm barely learning >.< i could do maybe a cosplay do and do not kind of thing, like "don't make the cosplay look too much like how it does in the anime/manga, aiming towards a more realistic feel helps it look more natural and not too cartoony" or "if you want to go for the cartoony look, try to add maybe less details, and more cartoony colors" "try to not cut your costume too short before making it or you end up with something too small, and if something happens you can't make it bigger" or "if you have a wig, don't try to cut it too short, cuz sometimes leaving it a bit longer than it should be, it looks really nice and it gives it a more natural look on you" or "add a little bit of ___ or add more/less accessories, etc maybe add a prop to go with your costume to help ppl identify you, if necessary"

and i did like when one girl came up to me and asked me how i sewed my gumi cosplay together, and even i critiqued myself and gave her some pointers on it, but since i got bits and pieces from clothing and put it together, i couldn't give her any "how to make it from scratch" hints >.<

Titus_Love_Doll · « **Reply #17 on:** March 30, 2011, 10:10:57 pm »

my first con i was in my kendo uniform and i had long hair and everyone thought i was male the whole weeken once they found out I was female the other two days no one i meet talked to me. or flirted with me then started to say i was to fat for my costume when i wasent even in cosplay ..... my second year i was nouthing. till sakura con were theses asian girls laughed at my lolita

TO tell you all something Cosplay is for fun. no matter how badly made it is or how bad it looks. its who you want to be and who your are. i think everyone cosplay looks good as long if they put and effort in it ugly hinata or bad make up sailor moon :3 i like to see people dress as their fav charaters and animes. hell look at manry and manchi and manfaye they do it becuse they can !!!! ands its fun

luvan1me · « **Reply #18 on:** March 30, 2011, 10:16:26 pm »

i adore rep rep <3~ but i can't stand to look at hairy legs .-. at least he has the decency to wax XD

but sometimes... i mean if you are big and you know that you are, at least try to cover parts that i DO NOT want to see pop out :/ i mean dress code PLEASE!

even for those skinny girls... srsly! COVER YOUR BUTTS AND BOOBAGES! unless you REALLY need to for cosplay "accuracy" even then... it's kinda gross to me :/ modesty is what i usually go for anyway, but that's just me.

Gryffinclaw Princess · « **Reply #19 on:** March 30, 2011, 10:42:09 pm »

There was one girl at con last year who was heavy set and had an...well let's just say she needed a shower or deodorant... :/
Anyways! She was wearing a white shirt that was slowly getting more and more soaked with sweat (we were behind her in the pre-reg line on Day 0) and she was NOT WEARING A BRA! Her boobs were sagging and I saw almost everything. D: I mean I'm a girl so I've seen boobs before and I'm not really grossed out by boobs themselves but like...this was just really bad. If no shower or deo then at least a bra...? Please? D':

luvan1me · « **Reply #20 on:** March 30, 2011, 10:59:35 pm »

it should be a general rule. no shower. no deo. no con. -w-

reppy · « **Reply #21 on:** March 31, 2011, 01:09:37 am »

Quote from: randompvg on March 17, 2011, 04:47:50 pm

Constructive criticism ("that fabric is too shiny", "it looks like you might have had trouble with XYZ, did you know there's an online tutorial for that?", etc) is good. Being hurtful just for the fun of it is something you'd expect from a child that needs to go to timeout, and it doesn't make anyone's life one bit better.

I understand that for some people it's SRS BSNS, and if that makes them happy I'm glad for them. But for the rest of us, the key word is cosplay. I wish more people would be mindful of that.

If people would like to keep talking about the subject, I can split it out into its own thread. IMO, it would be a good topic as long as it stays away from trying to call people out.

Honestly, I don't think any type of criticism is welcome unless the person was soliciting it. It's nobody's business to point out what they think is wrong with a cosplay. Maybe you're trying to "help", but chances are it's a person you just met and one of the first things you do is point out that what they did wasn't good enough? Most people's egos (mine certainly included) will be at least a little hurt by it, even if we nod our heads in agreement, "Yes, I should have . . ." ^^

I mean really . . imagine if people acted like this outside of anime conventions. "Oh, you did an awful job on your nails." "You really shouldn't wear that color! ick!" etc, etc . . sheesh, I'd never leave the house out of fear of being harangued as soon as I stepped foot out of the door.

"HEY REPPY YER SHOES DON'T MATCH YER BELT WHAT ARE YA SOME KINDA JERK?"

;-;

Quote from: luvan1me on March 30, 2011, 10:16:26 pm

i adore rep rep <3~ but i can't stand to look at hairy legs .-. at least he has the decency to wax XD

Haha thanks xD And for the record, I've never had my legs waxed . . I only do my eyebrows. >_> I shave my legs myself. ^^ I'd feel weird asking the lady that does my eyebrows to also wax my legs. I don't know. I'd have to go somewhere I'd never been before and then make up some story about being a swimmer and I need the little edge that the reduced resistance would give me and and and .. XD

reppy · « **Reply #22 on:** March 31, 2011, 01:12:30 am »

erf. I am so bad about going to edit my post and then accidentally quoting it. THE BUTTONS ARE RIGHT NEXT TO EACHOTHER!

Titus_Love_Doll · « **Reply #23 on:** March 31, 2011, 01:28:01 am »

aww no matter I mean people are who they are and ifs all for fun you as a person if your having fun enjoy yourself even if others around you look bad or smell heck maybe that person is you I mean sometimes I look like a mess and I don't even wear makeup half the time. But you slowly learn over the years becuse some people are curl and they will say mean thing. I tell a friend theu stink but as a friend and in public I don't want them to be made a food when someone talks about it. Normally I have body spray on me. But still. As long if your enjoying yourself goood bad and ugly in cosplay. Just rember at con wear bras wear panties if your a big girl wear something that will flatter you like cosplay naruto or princess peach mayve lolita. Never know how cute you be if you clean up and if you don't care then I pitty you becuse you don't try.

I love to cosplay and dress up there's things I wannah cosplay but I know I can't becuse it won't flatter me. I don't even do my own makeup becuse I suck at it or I put to much on. Get your friends to help you if your not coffedent at cons shower in thr morning and at night. And rember to have nots of fun and reppy your soooooo cute as chii I love your cute ness and when I see you at cons I smile becuse I don't know alot of guys who would wear a chii costume and pull it off like you do hehe and everyone els just becuse someone cosplay looks better or tell you your look bad oe you smell bad just rember they say it to help you improve yourself as a person. They say you stink go back to you room and put son something or take a shower. Take their comments and improve no matter how mean they are. I will not agree with someone saying tjing in a large group to embaress a person but takeing someone to the side and quietly inform them would be better

sorry if this dosent make sense I have a bad hbbitet on writing what I think
titus

luvan1me · « **Reply #24 on:** March 31, 2011, 02:03:14 am »

Quote from: reppy on March 31, 2011, 01:09:37 am

Quote from: luvan1me on March 30, 2011, 10:16:26 pm
i adore rep rep <3~ but i can't stand to look at hairy legs .-. at least he has the decency to wax XD

Haha thanks xD And for the record, I've never had my legs waxed . . I only do my eyebrows. >_> I shave my legs myself. ^^ I'd feel weird asking the lady that does my eyebrows to also wax my legs. I don't know. I'd have to go somewhere I'd never been before and then make up some story about being a swimmer and I need the little edge that the reduced resistance would give me and and and .. XD

OH THAT'S RIGHT! lol i remember you telling me you waxed your eyebrows, but i thought you did your legs too, but now i remember telling you, you should so they would look smoother -w-b XD

and a lot of swimmer's/athletes/models/*cough cosplayers cough* wax their legs

so don't worry about feeling odd or embarrassed

geesh, even i would wax your legs for you ^_^

veraca · « **Reply #25 on:** March 31, 2011, 03:16:07 pm »

In regards to the sweat thing:

I have issues sweating at cons. Insanely. It really annoys me. It's not like I stink or anything, it's just me sweating. It really annoys me with my Yuna songstress costume cause you can clearly see the sweat marks by the arms and I'm like "ARGH I put on deo AND here you are!!!!" *huffs angrily* I've tried many different forms of deo and while most stop the smell, almost none stop the sweating. Irksome...
It's not something I want to see, and it's not something others want to see. And what's strange is I don't sweat most of the time when I'm in sleeveless things, only in really warm conditions. And I'm never warm at a con, I'm always freezing! And yet, the sweat is there. *grumbles*

Saki-the-cat · « **Reply #26 on:** March 31, 2011, 03:22:54 pm »

I'm sort of the same way. I hardly ever sweat but i was sweating up a storm at the con. I'm guessing it's the massive amount of people there that cause it to be much more warmer and cramped up than normal, same thing happens to me in malls during the Holliday season.

luvan1me · « **Reply #27 on:** March 31, 2011, 05:42:40 pm »

yea i sweat too. but i shall give you one BIG advice that has worked for me so far.

take a COLDish shower, IN THE MORNING! EVERY MORNING! then spray/stick your armpits w/e, and bring a small hand towel! everytime you feel sweaty, damp it on your armpits or w/e. also bring a fan or something to cool yourself down, cuz that helps A LOT!

@random · « **Reply #28 on:** March 31, 2011, 06:20:32 pm »

Quote from: reppy on March 31, 2011, 01:09:37 am

Quote from: randompvg on March 17, 2011, 04:47:50 pm
Constructive criticism ("that fabric is too shiny", "it looks like you might have had trouble with XYZ, did you know there's an online tutorial for that?", etc) is good. Being hurtful just for the fun of it is something you'd expect from a child that needs to go to timeout, and it doesn't make anyone's life one bit better.

I understand that for some people it's SRS BSNS, and if that makes them happy I'm glad for them. But for the rest of us, the key word is cosplay. I wish more people would be mindful of that.

If people would like to keep talking about the subject, I can split it out into its own thread. IMO, it would be a good topic as long as it stays away from trying to call people out.

Honestly, I don't think any type of criticism is welcome unless the person was soliciting it. It's nobody's business to point out what they think is wrong with a cosplay. Maybe you're trying to "help", but chances are it's a person you just met and one of the first things you do is point out that what they did wasn't good enough? Most people's egos (mine certainly included) will be at least a little hurt by it, even if we nod our heads in agreement, "Yes, I should have . . ." ^^

I mean really . . imagine if people acted like this outside of anime conventions. "Oh, you did an awful job on your nails." "You really shouldn't wear that color! ick!" etc, etc . . sheesh, I'd never leave the house out of fear of being harangued as soon as I stepped foot out of the door.

"HEY REPPY YER SHOES DON'T MATCH YER BELT WHAT ARE YA SOME KINDA JERK?"

You have a good point. You're right; it's nigh-impossible to just come up and announce something in a good way unless it's of immediate importance - i.e. pulling someone to the side and quietly telling them that their zipper is open, or that the clasp to their top is only a few threads away from falling off.

Honestly, I suspect the vast majority of comments are deliberately petty and nasty, not even pretending to be constructive, so that narrows down the field considerably. But even if it's not deliberately petty and nasty, it's likely to be perceived that way unless it's said in a kind, tactful manner and actually offers help instead of just pointing out what's wrong (which they probably know, and all you're doing is embarrassing them.)

There's just no comparison between "Oh, you did an awful job on your nails" and having a conversation that eventually leads into "That nail color is REALLY hard to reproduce... just wondering, have you tried XYZ brand?"

Quote from: veraca on March 31, 2011, 03:16:07 pm

In regards to the sweat thing:

I have issues sweating at cons. Insanely. It really annoys me. It's not like I stink or anything, it's just me sweating. It really annoys me with my Yuna songstress costume cause you can clearly see the sweat marks by the arms and I'm like "ARGH I put on deo AND here you are!!!!" *huffs angrily* I've tried many different forms of deo and while most stop the smell, almost none stop the sweating. Irksome...
It's not something I want to see, and it's not something others want to see. And what's strange is I don't sweat most of the time when I'm in sleeveless things, only in really warm conditions. And I'm never warm at a con, I'm always freezing! And yet, the sweat is there. *grumbles*

I hear ya. It's gotten to where I'm unlikely to wear my Hatori Sohma cos except at night when it's cooler, because otherwise I'll be sweating. Even when you don't consciously feel it, the combined radiated heat from everyone adds up fast - 100W per person even if they're not physically active. That might not sound like much, but it means a dozen people are about the equivalent of having a space heater running. (http://www.heaters365.com/Product/1118_Holmes_Prismatic_quartz_tower_heater.htm)

Quote from: luvan1me on March 31, 2011, 05:42:40 pm

yea i sweat too. but i shall give you one BIG advice that has worked for me so far.

take a COLDish shower, IN THE MORNING! EVERY MORNING! then spray/stick your armpits w/e, and bring a small hand towel! everytime you feel sweaty, damp it on your armpits or w/e. also bring a fan or something to cool yourself down, cuz that helps A LOT!

Double win - a little battery-powered fan won't just cool you down, it'll keep you drier. And the faster your sweat dries, the less chance skin bacteria have to work on it and make it stinky. (Which is also another reason the hand towel's a good idea.)

luvan1me · « **Reply #29 on:** March 31, 2011, 06:29:46 pm »

exactly! and that's why i HAVE to remember bringing my fan >.< i forgot it last kcon and BOY was i SWEATING like a pig! XD i had a small hand towel from the room with me in my bag, so if i got sweaty i just dabbed anywhere where i was sweaty, and i had a water bottle with me too, so that i can hydrate myself as well! cuz that is ALSO very important! ^_^

veraca · « **Reply #30 on:** March 31, 2011, 10:02:26 pm »

I never thought of the fan idea.. But I have carried around a small towel before, but it never seemed to grab the moisture just kinda... sit there :/ Maybe a paper towel would work better or maybe I don't notice myself sweating until I feel the cool wetness *ew!* And then the fabric's wet and it's feeling like it's too late by that point...

Battery fan or would a hand fan you flap at yourself work?

luvan1me · « **Reply #31 on:** March 31, 2011, 10:35:50 pm »

any type of fan will work

i usually go by old fashion fan *whips out and fans out her japanese fan* but hey it's up to you -w-

and lol XD yea it's sometimes kinda late when you notice the uh "wet"ness XD

reppy · « **Reply #32 on:** March 31, 2011, 10:57:42 pm »

Quote from: randompvg on March 31, 2011, 06:20:32 pm

<<bunch of other quotes cut out>>

You have a good point. You're right; it's nigh-impossible to just come up and announce something in a good way unless it's of immediate importance - i.e. pulling someone to the side and quietly telling them that their zipper is open, or that the clasp to their top is only a few threads away from falling off.

Honestly, I suspect the vast majority of comments are deliberately petty and nasty, not even pretending to be constructive, so that narrows down the field considerably. But even if it's not deliberately petty and nasty, it's likely to be perceived that way unless it's said in a kind, tactful manner and actually offers help instead of just pointing out what's wrong (which they probably know, and all you're doing is embarrassing them.)

There's just no comparison between "Oh, you did an awful job on your nails" and having a conversation that eventually leads into "That nail color is REALLY hard to reproduce... just wondering, have you tried XYZ brand?"

Ever read Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People"? It is a really awesome book. This quote from the book is extremely relevant:

Quote

Shortly after the close of World War I, I learned an invaluable lesson one night in London. I was manager at the time for Sir Ross Smith. During the war, Sir Ross had been the Australian ace out in Palestine; and shortly after peace was declared, he astonished the world by flying halfway around it in thirty days. No such feat had ever been attempted before. It created a tremendous sensation. The Australian government awarded him fifty thousand dollars; the King of England knighted him; and, for a while, he was the most talked-about man under the Union Jack. I was attending a banquet one night given in Sir Ross’s honor; and during the dinner, the man sitting next to me told a humorous story which hinged on the quotation “There’s a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will.”

The raconteur mentioned that the quotation was from the Bible. He was wrong. I knew that, I knew it positively. There couldn’t be the slightest doubt about it. And so, to get a feeling of importance and display my superiority, I appointed myself as an unsolicited and unwelcome committee of one to correct him. He stuck to his guns. What? From Shakespeare? Impossible! Absurd! That quotation was from the Bible. And he knew it.

The storyteller was sitting on my right; and Frank Gammond, an old friend of mine, was seated at my left. Mr. Gammond had devoted years to the study of Shakespeare, So the storyteller and I agreed to submit the question to Mr. Gammond. Mr. Gammond listened, kicked me under the table, and then said: “Dale, you are wrong. The gentleman is right. It is from the Bible.”

On our way home that night, I said to Mr. Gammond: “Frank, you knew that quotation was from Shakespeare,”

“Yes, of course,” he replied, "Hamlet, Act Five, Scene Two. But we were guests at a festive occasion, my dear Dale. Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face? He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle.” The man who said that taught me a lesson I’ll never forget. I not only had made the storyteller uncomfortable, but had put my friend in an embarrassing situation. How much better it would have been had I not become argumentative.

I love this book. ^^

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