^ 1%? I'm still trying to maintain the two I have already. With money being slow and my sewing learning skills even slower, it'll take a miracle for me to finish the rest of my half-cooked cosplays.
< I've finally given it enough thought to conclude that in the past, I felt almost inferior to other cosplayers, and that each meet I went to was a chance to gain respect from them. Hence why I threw myself at each opportunity to go to a meet, regardless of who I knew or didn't know there, and why I felt restless anytime there wasn't a cosplay event listed. I know that the short span of time between one meet and another never gave me time to put more effort into a cosplay and make it look that much more impressive, but at the same time, I felt like I lacked the funds or resources to make anything better than what I had. What also didn't help was the realization that I was a guy who was getting older, and that most of the meets had almost all girls attending, whose ages I feared were mostly minors. I wasn't as disappointed that there weren't many guys to talk to as I was afraid of looking perverse and creepy in the eyes of the girls if I didn't watch what I said or did, to the point that I found it hard to have the same fun they were having. Even though I'm sure they were more easy-going, I couldn't shake the doubt that they would want to exchange contact info with someone like me. So from meet to meet I followed the herd, and stayed inside my own bubble for their protection, while at the same time striving to earn the respect of the group. I now know that the more I hid away and followed along, the more strange I seemed, but I didn't know what else to do, or who to turn to. There's no Advice thread on the boards because the site is about things related to cosplaying, the con itself, and other events like it...not for posting personal problems. Personal reflections and conclusions, however, at least grant the benefit of passing on knowledge to others who care to read it.
I'm sorry for taking up this space to blog my feelings to nobody. I'm just regretting how I look in the eyes of those that know the name TurboSaiyanJason. Those that enjoy my company, I thank you. Those that fear me or are stained by my past mistakes, forgive me. Those that don't know me...hello.
V Back to our regularly scheduled ^ < V game?