Author Topic: FMA Fanfic - Mother's Day  (Read 3790 times)

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Offline Dustin

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FMA Fanfic - Mother's Day
« on: May 23, 2005, 10:23:36 pm »
This will be one of my entries into this years Fanfic contest at Kumoricon (I am going to work on something else, too).

I wrote this shortly before Mother's Day earlier this month, and wanted to get it posted on Mother's Day (Unfortunatly I didn't get the final edit done before then). So, I wanted to post it in hopes people enjoy it.

You don't need much more than the first few episodes worth of knowledge of FMA to enjoy it, aswell.

Please enjoy my FMA fic, Mother's Day. :D
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People cannot gain something without sacrificing something. You must present something of equal value to gain something. That is the principal of equivalent exchange in Alchemy.

"Back then, we truly believed that to be the truth of the world".

It had begun with a simple wish. A wish born of the purest of intentions.

"We wanted to see your smile," the young man says, "Just one more time, we wanted you to praise us."

One who is not willing to sacrifice anything, can never achieve anything.

"Al...Al!" a young boy screams. "Look, with this theory, it'll definitely work!"

"You mean...?" the other young boy begins to question.

"Yes, we can bring Mom back!"

"...35 liters of water, 25 kilograms of carbon, 4 liters of ammonia, 1.5 kilograms of lime, 800 grams of phosphorous, 250 grams of salt, 100 grams of potassium nitrate, 80 grams of sulfur, 7.5 grams of fluorine, 5 grams of iron, 3 grams of silicon....". The young man read of the components of an Adult Human.

"Allright...its all here. Lets do this".

A flash of light changes the young boys' fate towards an unknown path. Smoke invades the room, providing a veil for something inhuman.

"Big Brother....something is wrong," Al says before his arm starts to disappear. "Big Brother!!!!"

"Al!!!!!", Ed screams before his mind goes blank, and Al's body disappears.

A room. Blank, dull, and pure white, appears. Ed looks around, seeing nothing, except a giant door. The door opens, and Ed is engulfed in darkness, before awakening.

"Damnit, it wasn't...supposed to be like this," Ed says, "Help....Mom...!" He is interupted as he coughs up blood, and looks over at the inhuman creature.

"No....you're not her...", the boy cries out as his leg bleeds and the creature's red eyes glow from across the room.

Creation. To create a Human is a right reserved for one and one alone: God. God unleashes his wrath upon those foolish enough to attempt Creation.

"..Fault....my fault...", Ed says, knocking over a suit of armor.

"Damnit...return him....he's my little brother. Whether it's my legs, my arms....or even my heart. Return him, he's my ONLY Family!"

Another flash of light. Another change in their fate, then darkness.

"Brother....are you alright?" Al asks.

"Sorry...Al, I could only transmute your soul with my right arm..." the boy says, then passes out.

Pure Intentions. To attempt Human Transmutation is forbidden. The dead can never return. Pure Intentions, no matter how pure, cannot change this fact.

"Hold him down!" the old woman, Pinako, says to the younger woman, Winry. The boy grinds his teeth in pain, and refuses to cry out.

"Ed, just let it out", Winry says, as she and her grandmother continue working on the boy.

"It's all my fault Al has that body...", Ed says, "He can't eat, sleep, feel pain....or anything at all. He blames me....he has to...its my fau--"

"Thats not true!", Winry interrupts.

"Al isn't the sort of child that would blame you for something like this, Ed", Pinako adds, "You'll see when you ask him."

"I'm...scared...," Ed mutters, "I am too scared to ask. I....I have to restore his body as soon as possible."

"Granny, Ed has a fever!", Winry yells.

"I will get some water and a wash cloth," Pinako says, "Finish up on his arm, then we will begin on his leg."

Punishment. For those who step into God's realm, for those who attempt to do what only God can, all that awaits is divine punishment.

The wind blows through the boy's hair, as the sun begins to set.

"Thats all for now, maybe I will continue the story later," Ed says. "Al told me to come talk to you, so I decided to tell you what's happened since you died."

A painless lesson is one that has no meaning.

"I know now we were wrong, and everyday I regret it. Al's life is forever changed, and...even if I cannot return myself to normal, I have decided. Even if it costs me my life, I will not let him remain in that Armor. His own body is a prison." Ed says, looking down at the stone, "I feel....that I can never do enough to atone for what I did.

Ed turns and begins to walk back to the Rockbell home, waving back at the grave.

"I'll visit again soon, I promise".

A brief gust of wind, and the feeling of a hand on his shoulder cause him to turn and look at his mother's grave. He stares, as the sunlight glazes over the name, Trisha Elric, and smiles.

"Yeah," Ed says, "Happy Mother's Day."

Offline RemSaverem

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FMA Fanfic - Mother's Day
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2005, 03:45:40 pm »
dustin, not only do i look forward to this being read at bedtime stories; but i'm also thinking, there are some great FMA cosplayers out there. maybe you could get it acted out for fanfic theater! (wherein folks will cosplay their own and others' fics.)
Ellen. 2003: Fanfic panelist & contest judge.
2004: Beta Station Coord. 2005: Fan Creation Station Coord.;pre-event assistant to the con chair.2006: Fanfic Mgr/C.S. Coord.
2007, 8, 9, 10: Fan Creation Manager. 2011: Writing & Editing Coord (Publicity).

Offline shadowfox

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« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2005, 05:36:39 pm »
cool, didn't know that you were a fanfic author ^_^ anything else to the story?  i wanna see the other fanfics there at kumoricon ^.~ entered anymore stories?
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Offline Dustin

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FMA Fanfic - Mother's Day
« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2005, 12:43:27 am »
For now, thats the end of that story.

I'm pretty sure most people won't like it much, since I pretty much added on to the actual story, so its not that great of a fanfic.

I'm considering doing one every Mother's Day, having either Ed or Al tell part of their story to their mother, from their own perspective.

I think alot of people won't like it alot because of the use of so much of the actual story, but I want to show how they would tell their mother what happend, in their own words, from their own perspective, using what I know of the characters personality.

Thats what I tried to achieve writing that. I basicly asked myself "How would Ed tell this to his mother? How would he feel, and what would he be feeling telling this to her?". So, I wrote it out.

For the part at the end where Ed thought he felt something, I went with the belief that people never truely die. I'm not superstitious, its just I have had personal experience in that area. I believe things such as strong feelings could call people to each other, from beyond the grave.

My personal experience was when I saw my mother rescuse me when I was drowning in the ocean when I was younger. I truely believe I would have drown that day, too. I was too far out in the ocean, and the backtide pulled me under and out. Then I started feeling hands pushing me back. I opened my eyes (Which I never die because I hate getting water in my eyes), and I didn't feel water on my eyes, I just saw her. My mother died a week after I was born.

So, I believe that in some way, Trisha would find a way to contact Ed and Al. I believe most fanfic others use some of their own experiences to come up with ideas for fanfics.

Mother's Day is my second fanfic. My first was a Dragon Ball Z fanfic called Breaking Point. It won the Best Backstory award at Kumoricon 2004. It's currently not online anywhere. I'm currently keeping it offline so that I can do some revisions for spelling errors and sentence composition, since I wrote it at around 2 AM when I was really tired.

Offline shadowfox

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« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2005, 09:55:43 am »
interesting, glad you're ok ^_^ so that fanfic has no relation to an anime right?
i am asthenophobic, Cleithrophobic, dinophobic, and geroscophobic.

 but i am NOT Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobic

Offline RemSaverem

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FMA Fanfic - Mother's Day
« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2005, 07:43:20 pm »
dustin that is a beautiful guardian angel moment. i believe in guardian angels and they have unconditional love

also, no worries, by definition, most fanfic is at least somewhat derivative of canonic material. a lot of the fanfic i've most enjoyed has been taking what we've already seen, but adding in the innermost thoughts of the participants therein. keep going!
Ellen. 2003: Fanfic panelist & contest judge.
2004: Beta Station Coord. 2005: Fan Creation Station Coord.;pre-event assistant to the con chair.2006: Fanfic Mgr/C.S. Coord.
2007, 8, 9, 10: Fan Creation Manager. 2011: Writing & Editing Coord (Publicity).