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Convention Events and Programming => Cosplay => Topic started by: 2p!sealand on September 15, 2012, 05:31:16 pm
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there is a person in our cosplay group (i set up the meets) and they're very untrustworthy, and a compulsive liar, no one can deal with it anymore..
i'm afraid that if i ban this person from the meets they'll show up anyways, what should i do if that happens?
please help me, im sorry if this is the wrong place to post this.
i really need help on this... thank you for reading... i'd like advice on such a situation
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before you take any action you have to ask yourself a few questions.
1. are they physically harming or compromising the safety of any individual in the group?
2. are they stealing, vandalizing, or somehow ruining anyone's costumes or personal belongings?
3. are they verbally abusing any individuals, member of the group or otherwise?
if the answer to any of these questions is yes, you should politely ask them to leave the group, or change their behavior so that they are no longer being harmful towards others. if they don't change their behavior or if they continue showing up, contact the authorities or anyone who can help you solve this issue.
if the answer to all of the questions is no, then you can still ask them to change their behavior or leave the group. if they don't, then you should probably find a new place/time to meet, so that they will stop bugging you.
this is a tricky situation, and i hope everything works out!
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they are emotionally abusing almost everyone in the group. they owe a few of them money, that they CAN pay (i know this because she works a full-time job AND still lives with her parents)
she is a compulsive liar and is very untrustworthy. none of us in the group want someone they cannot trust.
i know these things because i've gotten the chance to know them well, and even meet their family.
everyone in our group is very upset, and cannot handle her lying any longer. this is the reason for our group discussing banning her.
i want to do it, but i don't know how to handle it if she comes back, we ask her to leave, and she doesn't...
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Well, to be blunt, it doesn't sound like you have a problem yet. Yes, if she keeps coming back after you've told her to leave, you may have a problem, but I don't think you should stress out about a situation that hasn't even happened, and is very unlikely to happen at all.
The absolute worst thing you could do is to work yourself into such a tizzy about her possibly not leaving that you never tell her to leave at all. Be forceful, direct, and polite - simply tell her that her presence is unwanted in the group. There's no need to give her any excuses as to why you want her to leave, just say that she is no longer welcome in your group, and that's that.
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I think you should talk to the other members first and see if they are in agreement to the banishment. If they are, you should talk to them about it; let them know that they are being kicked out and WHY. I don't know the details, but it might be possible that said person is unaware that their actions are upsetting the group; at the very least, they should be informed on the reasons for the group's decision.
In the event that they continue to show up, perhaps you could have the meet-ups at people's homes (perhaps yours, since you do the setting up). That way, the host can tell said person to leave or risk having the cops called on them. If the threat of the police doesn't do it, perhaps their presence will.
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I think you should talk to the other members first and see if they are in agreement to the banishment. If they are, you should talk to them about it; let them know that they are being kicked out and WHY. I don't know the details, but it might be possible that said person is unaware that their actions are upsetting the group; at the very least, they should be informed on the reasons for the group's decision.
In the event that they continue to show up, perhaps you could have the meet-ups at people's homes (perhaps yours, since you do the setting up). That way, the host can tell said person to leave or risk having the cops called on them. If the threat of the police doesn't do it, perhaps their presence will.
i spoke with them about it, they handled it poorly, and beforehand i'd spoken to everyone else who frequently attend the meets... im worried now because of their reaction when i told them we were considering....
she's also started talking to another member in the group and blaming them for certain things, and we've gotten that to stop, but i became very stressed and upset to know she'd been talking to this other person i know... -note-the one she started contacting doesn't want to talk to her and she's continued on harassing my friend e.e" supposidly they haven't contacted them again since that day... which is good-
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Well, that's good. Hopefully, she'll stay away from your group now.