Kumoricon
Convention Community => Off-Topic => Posting Games and Chat => Topic started by: lychee-twist on April 25, 2011, 09:57:58 pm
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Alright, inspired by /rbadadvice, I've decided to start a thread where we post problems, and the goal is to give THE WORST ADVICE to "fix" the problem. Just, of course, don't take the advice. It would end up terribly.
Example: "My head hurts. What should I do?"
"Electric screwdriver and a four inch drill bit on high worked for me"
No go! Have fun with it!
I'll start:
I really, really have a huge craving to buy new skirts, but I'm short on cash. What should I do?
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^ Buying skirts is overrated. Just duct tape 4-7 ferrets together and you should be just fine, with a very lively and homemade piece of uber-chic apparel!
Problem: My knees are sore and feel like they may explode.
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The best thing to do with that is to get a hot and cold pack on them to help with swelling and pain. If you don't have one of those, just stick a cookie sheet into the oven at 400 degrees, and when it's to temp, pull it out and put it on your knees, pressing it good and hard with your bare hands. After a minute of that, alternate it to a quick dunk of liquid nitrogen. Repeat until cookie sheet is cooled and the Liquid nitrogen returns to gaseous state.
It's what the MLB players do. Absolutely. o.o
Where should I go camping?
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in the back woods somewhere where there are some really creepy hicks looking at you like they are ready to say hi but you think otherwise.
I have cramps what do I do?
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Down a bottle of muscle relaxers. Worked for Brett Favre.
( I think Lychee should go camping where she can hear deulling banjos playing.)
My work place is run like a headless chicken done by committee. What should I do to fix it?
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(Hahaha! Deliverance was filmed in Georgia, and that's my homework for three months so it fits!)
Well, if your work place is bugging you, obviously the solution is to wait a little while. In the meantime gather up a tube sock, a tub of vaseline, and a chicken mask with a cape, then, once everything is together, get ready.
You know what to do.
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My cousin Heidi was a stunt woman in that film. She says Burt Reynolds is short. BUt then she is as tall as I, 6'.
You forgot to post a dilemma. So I make one for you.
So you think you know what to do. Well, I hate to break it to you, but everything you know is wrong! I know you have been waiting for the electrician, or someone like him, but we are all Bozo's on this bus. Yes, full goose Bozo. Mamanu dog face with the banana patch. So to really get a jump on things, stay up until you have completely finished all episodes in a marathon watching session, watch Excel Saga. You may want to watch the subtitles, otherwise you will probably break your TV before you finish the first few episodes.
I have a plugged tear duct in my eye, and it's trying to swell my eye shut. My co-worker suggested I poke it clear with a needle. He didn't say if it should be sharp or not.
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My advice is that you should soak your whole head in warm water for about an hour. That should clear it up just fine! Mind you, you can't just dunk in every few seconds; you have to stay underwater to let it soak for the full hour. :P
I have no money! What should I do to raise cash for cosplays?
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Go to an ATM, withdraw all the money, FREE MONEY FOR LIFE.
All I have to eat for the next week is flour, baking powder, and butter. What should I make for dinner?
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Just mix all the dry ingredients with half of the butter and bake one really big biscuit. Then butter the giant biscuit with the rest of said butter and use it as bait to catch a wild boar. All you have to do then is kill the wild boar with your bare hands and you'll have plenty of good meat in the larder to last you all winter!
I need to buy fuel for my jetpack, but it's too expensive and I don't want to have to end up selling said jetpack. What should I do?
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Start a jetpack taxi service
I have $20 in raw copper, but it's stuck on these little coins that are only worth about $14 collectively and full of zinc. What should I do?
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Just throw them all down the garbage disposal to chop them into managable pieces, then heat them in a skillet on medium low. The metals will seperate and you'll be able to skim off the copper scum that floats to the surface and sell it for 120% profits to tanning salons for people who want that sun-burnished glow.
When I make some costumes, I have to buy a lot of foam, but it's really annoying to work with now that my electric knife broke. What should I do to make foam working easier?
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Use a chain saw instead. Just as safe, and much faster.
I have a bunch of housework to finish this weekend, but have only gotten a couple of things done. How do I get myself to work faster?
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Get a very complicated handcuff with a lock requiring an equal amount of keys as the tasks that need done. Set up your house Saw style so you have to complete the task in order to get the key. Finally strap one end of the hand cuff to your ankle and the other to a bomb with a one hour wick. Light said bomb.
I didn't sleep at all last night (literally). When should I go to bed tonight?
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^dont go to bed at all! the late night awake ness will make the clowns under your bed more attracted to you so that when you die of exastian they can do what ever they want
both sides win in the end
im having a hard time with money how should i make more of it?
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Construct your own printing press in your basement and begin counterfeiting. You'll make plenty of money in no time at all!
There's this annoying person talking loudly on their cellphone and they won't shut up. What can I do to silence this infidel?
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Hump their leg. Works every time.
I didn't get a wink of sleep last night since I procrastinated on my paper so badly. What should I do?
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Continue procrastinating, of course! Nothing beats turning in a paper two months late.~
I'm going to France in nine days. Which kinds of clothing should I pack?
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Only the pink frilly kind with lots of bows and skirts
I need to get rid of a depression hanging over me what do I do?
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Take a lawnmower and take out your angry on all innocent people around you...Lawnmower massacre 8)
I CAN'T SAVE ANY MONEY!!! So I have nothing for cosplay!
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No problem, who needs money for cosplay? Simply go into your kitchen, and begin finding foods that resemble your characters outfit, and tape them to your body.
I am sad, how can I make myself happy~?
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Do like I stated before, but this time blast Caramelldansen on a boom-box that has been duct taped to the Lawnmower
MY MOM IS WATCHING DARK SHADOWS! (The WORST soap opera that has ever been on T.V.)
HOW DO I SURVIVE!?!?
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Watch it with her holding a tissue box at the ready and tape your eyes open so you can see every grueling moment. Or break the TV =D
Mom keeps trying to get me to take Ibprophen instead of my Vikes because she wants my Vikes for her headaches -_- But I need the Vikes for the pain from wisdom teeth removal. Ibprophen never helped me with anything.
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^ Shoot her. In the face. That'll end her headache AND you can have all of your vicodin.
V I hate it when my girlfriend plays WOW whenever I've visiting her instead of spending time with me. Thankfully, it's not an always thing, but when it does happen, it bothers me. What should I do?
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< thought, 'omg... no one is willin' ta own up to anythin' fer this.. fine I'LL do MY OWN DEMISE!!!' Out loud I laugh as loud as I can at Wash.
^ beat her with her own head phones and tell her "NOT TILL AFTER I GET IT!" and then never tell her what "it" is.
V I think I might be preggers and don't know how to tell my Dad... HELP! XD
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^ Call him a grandpa because you're pregnant and now he should feel old
V I still cant get to sleep, what should I do?
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^ Spin around in circles.
V I think I might be getting an icky feeling in my stomach...
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Rip it out
Icky feelings aren't good and should be gotten rid of the quickest way possible
My back is killing me
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Rip it out and then beat Washougal with it so that it gets his mind off of the icky feeling in his stomach. Two birds with one stone!!! :D
Beggers keep coming in my store to exchange change, how do I fix this?
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Pull out a gun and tell them to leave.
I am homesick what do I do??
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Pull out a gun and tell them to leave.
Hahahaha.... actually we just had an employee get fired because of something very much like that.... XD
Stop eating houses that are out of date, DUH SILLY!
My man refuses to wear undergarments without holes in them... what should I do?
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Be a woman: take them off of him, wash them, then sew them up. (I'm gonna be hit for this one...)
The Boogeyman is threatening to eat my salad dressing.
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^ Beat him with a stick and say "NO! Silly rabbit trix are for kids!!"
v I just yelled out the window at a drunk lady that was walking accross the street complaining about someone ugly.. I called her ugly. Now she wants to beat my ass. Although she did not know where I yelled from. What to do?
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Wave a giant flag that say, "I'm here!" be kind and help her
I think I'm addicted to the computer
what shall I do?
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^ Light up, metaphorically speaking.
My back itches.
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Go to the zoo and jump in the lions pit.
My boyfriend refuses to dance at dances... and I love to dance... How can I get him to dance with me?
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Put ants in his pants.
My friend is being a bitch.. what do I do?
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throw apples at her head until she is kind to you.
I'm hungry but I have no money, help?
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Go mug the the homeless guy under the bridge.
I think someone may think I'm stalking them...what should I do?
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Start stalking them so they know the difference
Just found out I'm being dissed behind my back, what to do?
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^ If you know who the culprit is, duct tape their head until the person looks like a metallic Q-Tip, then push them down a flight of stairs.
V I need to use the bathroom...
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Take a shovel, find a patch of grass and dig, private!
My cosplays are few and humble, my pockets are small and empty, and the most epic of cons is closing in.
What course of action should I take, oh knowing master of ultimate advice?
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^ wear a white garbage bag and paint your ears orange to be hamtaro!
My stove is on fire, what should I do?
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^ Whip out the marshmallows. ;D
V PayPal sucks! Everyone there is incompetent!
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^ just start robbing banks for money and give your stuff away for free
My pool has a leak, what to do..?
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^ Duct tape. (I'm surprised this hasn't been brought up, yet).
V I'm out of duct tape.
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^ go rip some off the pool..
I bit my lip really hard, what should i do?
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^ Laugh; that's what I'm doing!
V I'm hungry.
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Proceed to the kitchen and nom on everything in sight.
my tummy hurts ><
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^ Whack yourself in the head repeatedly with something heavy. You'll have such a headache that you'll forget about your tummy in no time.
V I really want to lose weight by con, but I'm too lazy to exercise. What should I do?
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^Lay outside in a sweatsuit all day drinking water and eating celery only
I ripped my only pants, what to do?
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Take them off and throw them at a passing cop.
I have a coworker who thinks theyre the s****. What should I do?
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^ Throw **** at them making them literally "the ****"
My hand fell asleep, what now?
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^ play that game where you stab the knife between your fingers cause if you lose, you wont feel it!
v how should I go about making my Raichu tail?
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Go find a car witht the decal and saw it off the car.
Crabby customers that are old who buy beer yell at me when I card them... how can I card them with out insult?
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^ Tell them "NO BEER!" and drink it in front of them, then they will be sad instead of insulted.
V eBay sucks!
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^Buy ebay and make it your pawn to rule the world
I have the hiccups, help?
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Bang head against door 3 times hard
My friend keeps stealing my photos on DA and FB and posting them to her DA
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Hack her account and post uglypictues and say they are her latest and greatest works of art!. I'm super tired, what ever shall I do?
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^ Let someone hit you in the head with a 2x4.
V I'm hoping to get either a promotion to full time, or get a second job here pretty soon.
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Set a swarm of African Killer Bees on everyone else so your the only option.
Is there any easier way to brush up on your spanish other than reading?
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Drop into a mexican restrurant like taco bell and then copy every thing they say. I need a bath but the hot water is all used. Help me?
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Boil water on the stove and dump it on you.
Got a small cut but dont have bandaids.
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Just leave it to heal on its own make sure you roll around in dirt and mud its a natural disinfectant.
My phone is dead what do i do?
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Dump some red bull on it... red bull revitalizes and gives you wings, so why not have a live and epic cell?
A friend thing called me up drunk on skype yelling about smex... what should I do?
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Tell them you have a hot friend then bring your grandma over and give her a bottle of tequila and some tassles. I'm having trouble focusing, what should I do?
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^ Play with the shiny thing over there.
V I love the fishes 'cuz they're so delicious.
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Is that an problem?
EAT THEM UNTIL YOU EXPLODE!
I have an addiction to bangles
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^ Thank the good god Haruhi that you don't love the Cincinnati Bengals and make me a sammich.
V It's time to go to work...
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^ Set all your clocks an hour back so that you have an hour before its time to go to work again.
V So tired X_X
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^ Drink half a dozen Starbucks triple shots in an hour... you'll either be wide awake, or you'll have a perfect excuse to stay home when you start having heart palpitations.
V Less than a month to go, how do I lose this extra 20 pounds?
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^ Stop eating
V College is frustrating me and I'm afraid that everyone will take up all the class slots before I have a chance to even be allowed sign up ><
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^easy kill all your compition
V Nightmares suck what do I do
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^ Watch a marathon of horror movies then take a sleeping pill.
V I eat too many blueberries
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Vomit them up and then make a pie out of them. (please don't)
I burnt my fingers on my oven. :( What should I do?
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^ Put more fire on em, burn em enough and you wont feel anything.
V I ate too much x_x
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^ Continue to eat more untill you explode then you won't have ate too much.
v My hair is stick straight and won't hold a single curl how do I make my hair curly, wavy for my Ruka cosplay?
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When you get out of the shower, stick a fork in an electric socket.
Co worker can't count their till, what should I do?
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Bash them in the head with the till and make them count how many times you hit them with it till they know how to count.
Headache!!!
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^ I can throw rocks at your head...
V What I want for my birthday is the utter complete destruction of World of Warcraft.
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^ Enlist an army of people with the same wish (like me) creating an army that will attack the company and make a deal - Their life will be spared on the condition that WOW is shut down for good and all copies currently owned, previously owned, and new are destroyed in a big pile.
V Just had pizza and I want chocolate milk but thats way too much dairy for me ><
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^eat it anyways. a deal with the pain becuse milk is good and thats why call it the toilet
Trying to blow up the world what is a good way?
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I don't know, but you should ask the government! They know lots of good ways to blow up the earth!
I lost my wigcap, and is currently using a stocking that I found but it's too tight for my head
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^ Get your head shrunken by a witch docter and it'll fit just fine.
I NEED SUGAR!!!
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Drink 10 rockstars and eat a bag of sugar then run in circles.. I have too many maga to read right now! What to do?
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Burn all except one no problems anymore then :3
Super mad at my ciel hat because it keeps sliding off what do I do?
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Sew it to your scalp!. All my new manga are burnt up? What now? :(
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Give a anime dvd to the gods as a ritual sacrifice to get them back.
My dress is hard to walk in what do I do?
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Go naked
I want to go to bed but instead I am posting here
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Rip your comp out of the wall and stomp on it, or in a simalar case with cellphones throw it on the ground and stomp on it
My cat is lazy
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A high dose of amphetamines ought to perk him right up.
My sleep schedule is seven kinds of messed-up, what do I do?
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Drink ten cases of espresso and never sleep again.
Speciality fabric is too expensive!
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Get the amount of fabric you need, quickly sew up what you want to make and walk out with it on with out paying. If they ask say you walked in wearing it
Every time we have a show the house is mess...and now I have to help clean up
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^ buy your self some servants and make them do it while you eat pizza and relax
I ended up being way to nice and then a jerk... Now people call me a troll what do i do
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Well since they call you a troll act like it, get a huge wooden club and start smashing people with it. ;D
I want to get vampire fangs but all the normal costume kind fangs are to big for my teeth what do i do?
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Shave your teeth into vampire things after all it can't hurt that bad
I have been called cute what do I do?
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^ tell them that your ugly and their cuter ?
I ended up being punched in the face by two 5 year olds and now i have a black eyes what do i do
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Punch them back and plead self-defense.
I'm bored and on the internet, how do I solve this?
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^ pr0n.
V I've got something stuck in between my teeth that doesn't want to come out.
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^ Stop... hammer time! Put on some goofy looking shiny parachute pants, get a large heavy object, and you can take care of the problem permanently.
(Am I showing my age again?)
V I'm really thirsty, but nothing in the apartment sounds enticing. Ideas?
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^ go servial and drink your own pee
< my hair is on fire what do i do
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^ Keep using the terrible advice thread for solutions, 'cause drying your hair by sticking your head in the oven is a great idea.
V 19 days left, how do I make the time go slower so there's enough time to have everything ready?
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Break into your neighbors apartment i'm sure they have the good stuff^^. My neck is sore, what will fix it?
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Just take every pill you encounter until the problem goes away.
Nothing's wrong with my life right now. Any solutions?
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Wow life must be boring, GO DO SOMETHING FUN AND ILLEGAL MOST LIKELY INVOLVING FIRE, POTATOES AND MAYBE WEARING A FRILLY DRESS!
I think I maybe going crazy from stress
what to do?
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Print out one of those bang head here signs. Put the sign on a hard wall proceed to bang head on the sign on the wall. This is a great stress releave your stress plus it gives you a wonderful head ache.
I'm worried I am going to miss lots of fun events because I can't go to the first day of con.
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^ dont worrie and make the blow the con up event
< ended up relizeing everyone who bought tings from me want to meet at the con o.o and thats alot of stuff for one person to carried what should i do
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^ Force the first person who wanted to buy something to be your slave and carry everything to have in a wheelbarrow.
v I want to go to the entire convention, but I may only be able to make it for a single day. What should I do?
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Get a day badge, and just write "+Sunday, +Monday" on it. I'm sure the yoji will understand your predicament.
It's 8am and there's a meetup on the other side of town at 1pm. Haven't slept yet. Wat do?
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DRINK 20 ENERGRY DRINKS!!!! Then rush off to the Hospital for your liver's sake.
I'm not talking to my friend anymore and I want to hit her, but I am too lazy to get out of my chair.
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^ Hire a hitman.
V I've got a giant pimple-thing on my neck, just under my left ear.
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Tattoo flower petals around it.
My allergies are flaring up x_x
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Live in a bubble
The LoL servers are down until 9am. How can I entertain myself in the mean time?
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Start sewing little outfits to dress your cat in and hope it doesn't kill you when you put them on.
My cat won't shut up!
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Duck tap it's mouth shut.
I need to find a drink thats looks like blood and tastes good that does not contain alcohol any ideas?
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^ Rob a blood bank and drink the real thing. :P
I've been getting really poor sleep lately from having to listen to the a/c buzzing all night, but if I turn it off, it's too hot! What should I do?
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Smack her with a long stick cover with thorns. I have a blister on my finger, what to so?
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CUT YOUR FINGER OFF WITH A DULL RUSTY KNIFE AND OFFER IT UP TO GOD!!!! the god of Silent Hill
I'm hungry
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HOME TIP FROM 1932: (No kidding:)
Add DDT to your floor wax to knock those bugs DEAD as soon asn they crawl into the house.
And now:
If you want to clean and fumigate at the same time, mix equal quantities of bleach and ammonia in your mop bucket.
X-P
(irl: Don't Do this., please!!)
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I'm hungry
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Think about snacks and go grocery shopping right now!
< My feet hurt whenever I goto work :(
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Crawl around on your hands and knees all day :D. I got a bug bite, it hurts, help me?
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Hunt that bug that bit you to the end of the earth and kill his whole family and then break his wings so he shall know what it's like to feel pain
I'm addicted to this remix of "The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku"
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^ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZ5TajZYW6Y
V I'm nervous about my interview tomorrow afternoon.
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^ If you sleep, you'll forget your appointment. Stay up all night watching cartoons!
\/ I'm getting addicted to Deus Ex. What do?
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^ Stay home during the con.
V I wanna sleep...
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In order to do that, you must stay awake for the next 7 days, surviving off of Coffee, Mountain Dew and LOTS of sugar. Then if that doesn't work, watch hours, and hours and hours of political ads.
I have a sore throat, what should I do?
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Shot glasses and pharmaceutical anesthetics. What could possibly go wrong?
I once again lack anything to complain about. How can I make my life less ideal?
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go to college, gain your masters, become a doctor, live a long happy life....CURE THE COMMON COLD.
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^ ...I'm not sure what to respond to.
V ...I'm not sure what to respond to.
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^ Make up your own question and type a 1000-word essay in response, peppering it with words like <beep> and <beeeeeep> and even <beep><beep>ing <beep>errific <beep><beep>er. ;)
V My AC is acting really weird, but there's only a month or so left of warm weather. What should I do?
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^ Move to the Yukon Territory. I hear some of their gold mines are still active...
< I know this normally doesn't belong here, but now I'm thinking that this was a good recommendation, for me...
V I'm debating on whether or not I want to go to the Yukon next Summer.
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Ehh you don't need to think about it no, just wait til next june to decide!. I got a deep cut on my foot and con is in a week, help?
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Well you can't change what happened so make the cut deeper
I have a crazy sweet tooth
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^Don't think about cookies. Or cake. Or chocolate. Or Ice cream. Or cinnamon rolls.
v I've been procrastinating sending out resumes until I get my scooter fixed - but the scooter is taking forever. What should I do?
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Then fix it yourself
The problem is the sweets I'm addicted to is Caramel and it's getting stuck in my teeth
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Then fix it yourself
Awww.... that's what i've been doing :<
Anyway, Buy two sets of dentures. Caramel and non-caramel.
v I have an irrational psychosis around babies...
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^Get a pet alligator, guaranteed to ward off all babies.
I have several fabulous cosplays, but I can only wear one at a time.
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Have you ever heard of wearing layers? every time I go on a school trip they tell us to wear them.
mom is really upset
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Give her a cookie...THEN TAKE IT AWAY AND LAUGH! (Hey, it's supposed to be bad advice, right?)
I can't decide which K-Con events to go to, plus some of the really cool ones overlap with other really cool ones, so I can't go to both. What do I do?
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Just go to my Sailor Moon Panel and you're good!
My dad is watching Bride of Frankenstein for the 4th time already!!!
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^ had it and never let him see it agian
< had the dule side of a needle go between my toe nail and under the quitcal o.o still bleeding and the doctor said it was fine what should i do
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^ Push the needle in further so that the doctor will be wrong.
V I have a habit of chewing on my pens.
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^Have you considered it's cause you're hungry? I heard pen ink is a good source of protein. drink up!
v My head feels like it's about to explode! My sinus' are all clogged up
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^ Try jamming a pair of knitting needles up your nose. One per nostril ought to do the trick.
v AAAHHHH THE CON IS TOMORROW AND I STILL HAVE SO MUCH TO DOOOOOO!!!
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^.....keep calm and call The Doctor.(Not bad advice, but it was the first thing that came to mind)
V I need a life.
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^Start asking strangers if you can have/borrow theirs.
v My room is a mess right before con. too many fragile things im trying not to step on. How to get moar space?
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^ Grab a sledgehammer and start knocking down walls and kicking out the people who live in the adjacent rooms.
v I want cookies, but I'm too lazy to go buy or make them.
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^Paint the nearest fuzzy animal light tan with brown blotches. Enjoy your new chocolate chip cookie.
< I have a lot to do and not a lot of time for the con. What should I do?
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^ get off your lazy butt, make some popcorn, sit down, and watch hours and hours of ridiculous animes.
< I can't sleep...WHAT DO I DO?!
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^Toona, this is the TERRIBLE advice thread. That's good advice. We don't need that here ;) Actually, I've got an anime radio station on at the moment. My web is awful in my room. Stupid Verizon internet and terrible router/modem combo.
^ Since you're giving me good advice, I'll give you good advice. Put a folded up t-shirt over your eyes so any and all light is blocked. Works for me :) That's why I have a face mask when I sleep.
GOOD ADVICE FOR COSPLAYERS: Got interfacing gunk all over your iron? Take a dryer sheet and iron that. It gets the gunk right off. It's AMAZING.
< I gunked up my iron with interfacing stuff. What would YOU suggest? ;)
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^ By a second iron, then turn both on and press them together so the resulting heat burns the gunk off of both. Great fix with only a medium-ish fire hazard! ;)
< Argh, I'm depressed because I'm having a hard time with my schedule and it looks as though I may only be able to go one day. What should I do to make myself feel better?
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^ KILL
< MY CHINA WON'T REPLY TO ME AMERICA'S WORRIED!
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^ GO COMPLAIN TO GERMANY.
v I missed check-in today since I didn't know it was allowed, so now I'll still have to cue up to get in on Sat. What should I do if the line is too slow?
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Got interfacing gunk all over your iron? Take a dryer sheet and iron that. It gets the gunk right off. It's AMAZING.
Haha that happened to my straightening iron when I was doing my Yuna sleeves. O.O yeah, not fun.
^You should go over to everyone, and scream the llama song in their ears.
< OH NO! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY THE ALL MIGHT SEXY GERMANY!?! WHAT DO I DO TO RESIST?
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put handcuffs on yourself for less wind resistence as you "run away" and yell dirty innuendos to distract him if he catches you :)
my dog ate my wig for kcon today. i am now out a wig for my genderbent dr. stein costume and 40 bucks for my dog's stomach ache. what should i do?
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^Wear your dog instead of the wig, obviously. :)
I have trouble remembering to stay hydrated at the con...
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^ Drink from the fish fountain in the park!
< Drunk guys think my mario costume is from Team Fortress 2!
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^Dress as a spy disguised as Mario so you'll both be right. (hey, was that actually good advice? Maybe...)
Kumoricon is over and I want next year's con to come sooner!
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/\ Take ALL THE PILLS and hibernate until Sakuracon!
< How do I make my Mario costume different each day without buying new overalls?
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^Just buy a bunch of Mario plushies and carry them around and just point to the one you're currently 'cosplaying'. (You: "See? I'm Fire Mario right now!*points*" Peep: "Wow, you're so right!")
< I keep staying up late watching movies, but since I have to get up early I'm tired all day...What should I do?
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^ Drink coffee.
V So, after shaving myself for the Neptune costume, my hairs are starting to grow back, and my pits itch!
-
/\ Full submersion NAIR TUB!
< My electric fans can blow cold air from the air conditioner to every room but my bedroom. How do I sleep?
-
^ A full-submersion ice tub!
(My own terrible advice from yesterday - after giving blood, decide half an hour later that you don't really need the pressure bandage they gave you, then shake your hands vigorously after washing them.)
V One of my favorite manga is wrapping up in a way that's just TOO sad. What should I do?
-
^ Dont read the last two chapters... Then read the hole thing over again..... And repeat. Never read the last chapters.
< I have a really bad headache on the right side of my head.... My eye hurts to.
-
^ Start kicking yourself in the head on the left side.
V I'm bored...
-
/\ Do a google image search for your middle name.
< How can I find out who all the pieces ACTUALLY were in cosplay chess this year?
-
That's easy! Kidnap Beau Gentry, force him to hack into the Kumoricon registry system, copy everyone's address, and write them snail mail letters asking them if they were involved in cosplay chess! If they don't respond to your letters, send them multiple letters threatening them.
How can I stop procrastinating?!
-
^ I don't know, ask me later. :P
< I'm being hunted by ninjas! AAAAAAH!
-
^ Ninjas can't catch you, if you're on fire!
< How can I goof around online and read the fansubs on my tv at the same time?
-
Train yourself to point your eyes in different directions at the same time like a chameleon. Garunteed to give you color change powers as well! (You'l at least go blue from trying...)
I love working with fleece fabrice since broadcloth is so unforgiving, but all the cosplays I want to do are formal suits. What should I do?
-
^ Easy! Make the suit top out a fleace, stuff it with card bord so it looks strait, and use PJs pants for the suit pants.
< I want to take over the world, how should I do it?
-
^start in japan that always works in risk (not <.<))
<I want to be totally awesome what do I do?
-
/\ East a whole box of Pocky in one mouthful and post a picture of it all over the internet!
How do I get the players from my rpg to reply to my emails in a timely manner?
-
^ Simple! Just attach a picture of billy mayes naked, and put SMEXY PORN in the subject line. >my mom wants me to move back home, but i dont want to. What should i do?
-
^Tell her you have been kidnapped and are currently unavailable to move back in
V Found a kitty that looks like one on the lost poster but the people arent calling back or answering =[ and she looks preggers
-
Put the kitty in your washer, wrap her tail around the agitator, disconnect the water and put it on spin! The centripetal force will keep the babies up in her tummy until they answer.
I need to download new anime onto my external drive AND transfer files off of it at the same time! How do I do both processes without losing speed?
-
^ Pour water on your external hard drive while it's processing the data. This will make the electrons go faster.
V What outfit should I buy next?
-
A llama suit~ make it pink^^
I want mongolian bbq but i'm broke, help my tummy!?!
-
^ Well, first, you need to get to the place. So! Tie yourself to the bus and go out to the farm, where they have those huge full grown cows. Then, jump on its back and bite into its neck; this will sever its spine from the rest of its body, allowing you to eat through its stomach with no pain to it.
I dyed my hair today, and it dripped and stained my neck. How do I get it off?
-
^ Put more dye on and hope it works like a dry erase board.
((try Shampoo or dish soap (thats actually good advice) )) ><
v I need elf ears!
-
^ Go on a quest and find some elves, then kill them all and steal theirs.
< My shoes hurt my feet, but I'm too cheap to buy new ones. How can I make the olds ones more comfy?
-
^ Drive a couple of long nails through the bottoms of your shoes
V What should I do to cure my boredom?
-
/\ Get in trouble in another game thread.
I've got some creative writing to do and I need advice on describing an office, a maintenance shed, and a library.
-
Interpretive dance always works ;)
I have school for the next 9 months, how do I survive?
-
^ Find a cute half-demon to spend all your time with, then get a family member to cover for you by telling your friends and teachers that you are "sick".
V Avatar: Anime or Regular cartoon? How can I decide?
-
Go find a cosplayer of each and line them up along the wall. Then blindfold yourself and throw a dart. Which ever one you hit is your new avatar. My ex is dating a whore, how do i get rid of her?
-
^ Push her in front of a bus... worked in Mean Girls right? XD
V My boyfriend keeps forgetting to shave his freaking beard... How do I get him to remember?
-
Tape razors to his hands.
Problem:
I have 6 pages of math homework, how can I get it done?
-
^ Try turning it on a spit over a slow fire.
V My back hurts from being on my feet all day...
-
^ Get rid of your feet.
V I'm having trouble resisting the junk food in this house. :(
-
^Burn down the house.
<I have to right a poem, what should it be about?
-
How much you love your teacher
My sewing machine is too heavy and I have to take it to class once a week
-
Take off the bottom, and put wheels on it, then rip off the part that holds the thread and attach a handle. and thus, a moving sewing machine.
Problem:
There is a spider in my bathtub, and I"m too scared to go in there and kill it. Help.
-
^ Politely ask it to move.
V I really want to get a good juicer, but I don't want to fork over the 230 bucks. What do I do?
-
^ Find a garbage disposal. Drill a hole in the side of one of the pipes. Turn on, drop in fruit, collect juice.
I don't want to get out of bed tomorrow. I can already tell.
-
Strap a time bomb to your bed as an alarm clock
I'm too sleepy to come up with a problem
-
First you get a Bananna and. . . .
I want all my dream cosplays to be done
-
Procrastinate and keep putting off ever working on them
I need to put together a Draco costume for a panel
-
Slik you hair back and wear nouthing but boxers
I plotting agianst those who Dislike me what should i plot
-
This plan will take months. every day, sneak into their house and steal something of vital importance, and prevent them from buying or replacing it. Do this until all personal/ important items are gone, then replace them all, day by day, with strange words on them and paint them odd colors, and fill their shoes full of bananas. Then, take all of their closet and bathroom doors, and replace them with bead curtains, each of them the same patter. Switch all of their lights to backlights and bulbs that use too much electricity- then they will pay more for their electricity bill.
I have a tooth ache, what should I do?
-
Do it Cast Away style: take an ice skate and cut that bugger off.
V How should I study for the GRE?
-
Throw all your books/notes into a body of water and try to gather information with your mind.
I have a song stuck in my head,what should I do to get it to shut up?
-
listen to anouther song over and over till that gets stuck in your head
I ended up haveing the flu for the frist time in my life ..... and have to wear a mask ;-; around the roommates and i dont want to what should i do
-
Buy a darth vader helmet and say "I find your lack of immunity disturbing." every time you enter a room.
I have two extra days off this week, but they're sick days. How should I save money so I can recover from the lost hours?
-
( OMG I wannah do that! and i haev oen too that dose the weird talking
-
Since Titus failed to come up with some "Advice" I shall
Hide in your closet do not eat or use electricity or water for 2 days and you should be fine
I can't wait to Wednesday but I have 2 days of school to deal with, how do I survive?
-
Since i failed at this I would have to say you SHOULD stay home and fake sick and not do anyting and fail the classes simple as that when you got your games and tons of books to read and other things to do
I failed at making A Advice becuse i m that cool what should i do
-
Rent your chest cavity out minifridge since you're sooooo cooool.
Since I'm not staying up late enough for Castle, what should I watch on TV tonight.
-
The pretty static channel,the one that makes such a lovely noise :3
What should I do for a kondike bar?
-
Why do something for a kondike bar when you can simply take one, I mean everyone one says taking candy from babies is easy...so then taking icecream must be even easier to take!
Its suppose to be cold tomorrow, What should I wear?
-
Oh a bikini of course,with ballet slippers and duct-tape earmuffs.
I'm trying to plan a video script but i'm having writer's block.What should I do?
-
^ Go to fanfiction.net and find a random fic related to what you're writing. It's easy to get your material from there; you just copy and paste, and since none of it's published, they're free ideas!
V Should I get a PhD?
-
Of course not,all you need to do is get a peice of construction paper and write PhD and your name on it.
I have bracelets with the names and flags of countries and I want more,but i'm broke.How do I get more?
-
Get some Hetalia cosplayers and wrap them around your wrist
I've been stressed out a lot what do I do to calm down?
-
Think of all the stressful things in the world at once and dwell on them for as long as you live.
My nose seems to have an endless supply of runny snot in it. What should I do?
-
Form a river from the snot.
I can't sleep at all and I need to "get up" in 6 hours.What should I do about this?
-
^Jump out of a window and land on your head. Then you'll fall into an eternal sleep!
V Should I stay at my current university or apply to other schools?
-
^apply for the chepest school that really dosent get anything done and you ll be good
< I just offended someone by a comment speaking about you cant force people to chang o.O and now she is angery what should i do
-
Force her to get plastic surgery to see how she likes it. Im sick, what can i do to get better?
-
Call a group meeting for all the sick people in your area and take turns coughing on eachother's faces :D
I have a massive headache, how do I get rid of it?
-
Cut off your head! ;D
I can do it if you want!
My mom shall kill me when she figures out I have yet to turn in Anything in one of my classes.
-
Hack the teachers computers and replace your grads with all As
I m very tired and cant go to sleepw aht should i do becuse i m to into watching saiyuki
-
^ Punch a hole in the tv and stick your head through it.
< I can't seem to shake the lingering cough from this cold I have.
-
Down a bottle or two of Cough Syrup and if you don't have cough Syrup then just use maple syrup.
< Theres a guy across the street who likes to play guitar at 2 am, what should I do to make him knock it off?
-
Tell him to start playing earlier
I can't find anything to do
-
Than do yourself
I said somethign back just know what should i do - luaghs
-
Applaud your awesome courage!
Problem: My cat wont leave me alone, what should I do?
-
Put on three pairs of pants and sit on it.
They're letting people go home early from work but I need the hours to buy birthday presents!
-
Chain yourself to the front door of the building with a sign tapped to yourself stating that you refuse to leave because you need more money.
The nightmare factory dress rehearsal is tuesday and I cant wait that long!!
-
Hop a greyhound to Hood River and walk home, you'll arrive right on time.
Every customer today was misinformed by the last coworker they talked to!
-
Inform them correctly, and then find the coworker and inform them in the face!
I cant lrn2 maths! :(
-
Ressurect Einstein from the grave and beat him until he teaches you math!
I'm hungry for some toast, but I don't have any
-
Stick a picture of bread in the toaster!
I can't find a job
-
Lock yourself in a cage and plunge yourself to the bottom of the ocean via super submarine.
I have a booboo on my hand and I want it's not healing very fast
-
Dip it in lemon juice
(Licking wounds and actually help! I had a cut and it healed up pretty nicely when I licked it)
I have 2 more years of High school to deal with
-
Go back to middle school for two years.
Problem: The Forza 4 demo was a tease.
-
Beat up the people that made it for making it a tease.
I need more driving time so I can get my license but no one is willing to take me driving D:
-
Pffft easy. Steal a cop car. So, i want to get a job in the mornings but im really bad at waking up on time. What should i do to ensure i get up on time?
-
NEVER SLEEP IN THE FIRST PLACE :O
I'm too lazy to do anything that there ever was ever.... What should I do?
-
Go on an epic quest to find out what to do, slay dragons, save beautiful princesses and see what happens from there!
My ankle hates me and won't stop hurting
-
Do twenty jumping jacks then run up and down 80 flights of stairs.
I need money but there are no jobs available.What should I do?
-
Make your friends steal it for you
I don't want to do my school work
but I think my mom shall rip off my head
-
Have her rip off your head and fill it with answers
I'm tired of waiting for my wig!!!
-
Cut off all your hair and make it into the wig you want!
I got a new kitten and he's too hyper ALL THE TIME. How do I calm him down?
-
Toke it up and blow the smoke in its face! I found a red dress for my heavy cosplay, but i cant buy it. How does i get it?
-
Ask if you can have it. I'm sure they'll be nice enough to give it to you.
I can't figure out my Stats homework. What should I do?
-
knock on your teacher's door at 3 am to get some help.
I forgot to put my right arm back on before detaching my left arm. What should I do?
-
use your feet lol
-
Sorry forgot to add my problem. My ears hurt from trying to put flares in, and thex blew. What can i do to make them feel better?
-
Give them a happy jungle fun time song :DDD
I miss my guy something terrible :( How do I remedy this???
-
Keep him in a bottle
what would you do if he keeps yelling "Hey listen!"?
-
BEAT HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH A STICK :(
I cant open bottled sodas for the life of me!
-
Repetativly stab them with a knife so you have a small fountain
I can't think of any cosplays to do for next year,what should I do?
-
Copy all the popular gimmicks, even if you don't know anything about them!!!! (I would literally make a list of all my favorite animes and pick which characters I liked the best, or search for new anime that I enjoy and do the same thing with those :)
I cant dye the back of my hair without leaving animal print splotches!!!!
-
Claim you are a cheetah
My boyfriend made his text ringtone "hey Listen" how do I make it stoopp?
-
When youre driving over the i5 bridge, throw it out the window. I need a new pair of skinny jeans, what does i do?!
-
Suction a current pair of your jeans until they look like skin!
I need something to do with my life...
-
move to china and work in a sweatshop.
My cookies fell apart, what do I do?
-
tape them back together
Moms nowhere to be found and I'm really hungry but not sure what she was planning for dinner and she wont pick up the phone... what do I do?
-
take pictures of yourself eating your own arm.
what if I have no ducks to tape?
-
glue
now I cant eat and I feel nauseated
-
Lay on a bed of rusty nails.
Someone is hiding their feelings for someone because their target of affection is already taken.
-
Beat the person hiding these feelings till they dont remember
How do you combat being ignored?
-
Ignore the fact that you are ignored
How do you explain to someone that you can never have too much hello kitty?
-
By going to Hello Kitty anomnious.
What do you do when you get a poster but your walls are covered by posters you would never want to take down?
-
Build another wall to place said poster
Midterms are do tomorrow
I have yet to turn a single thing in one class and when my mom finds out....
-
tell her the teacher ate your homework!
I cant sleep ever!
-
take 1mg of melatonin and if that doesn't work, take a second one. Otherwise, suck some blood from the neck of a virgin ;D
New cars look really boring and generic, how do you make one stand out?
-
Shoot it with a paigun and the hit it a couple time with a sledge hammer
My shins are killing me right now,what should I do?
-
Have someone kick them until you feel nothing.
I have a really really bad stomach ache and I feel like puking, what should I do?
-
Go eat tomatoes! I cant stop bleeding...what should i do?
-
absorb it with dirt or put a leech on it.
I have nyan cat in my head, how do I let him/her out?
-
force all the rainbow pressure out all your orifices and become one with the nyan.
I cant find anything to watch on Netflix! What should I do?
-
Read a book.
v I'm bored and don't want to study!
-
Study so hard and fast that you don't even know you studied!!!
I need to find a good online game desperately!
-
force all the rainbow pressure out all your orifices and become one with the nyan.
As you wish, but this could get ugly... Imma firin' mah rainbow! Blaaaah~! **starts singing nyan cat**
I need to find a good online game desperately!
pretty much anything on facebook, but I'm going to say world of warcraft just because I like flaming it.
I need a moogle, what do I do?
-
Adopt me!
(https://www.kumoricon.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi167.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fu135%2Femo_angel666%2FIma_Moogle_by_TalaRedWolf33.jpg&hash=87560416440d141d09a29b26e72562adb7d61335)
I need to lose some weight.. how does I do this?
-
Take plenty of ex-lax and weight loss pills. Eat only lettuce and drink distilled water. You should get results fairly quickly.
V I want to wear my cosplay costume for Halloween this year, but my props might get ruined from rain! What should I do?
-
^ to the last two answers,I thought this was the terrible advise thread ;)
^ move to arizona
v end of the world comes eva style (as in end of the last episode), what would you do if you were Shinji?
-
Lol well, ima pretty bad moogle. I dont even has wings D:
-
Lol well, ima pretty bad moogle. I dont even has wings D:
hehe you'd probably do better than most of the recent final fantasies...
-
v end of the world comes eva style (as in end of the last episode), what would you do if you were Shinji?
^ Be so very confused and angry!
V What would you do if wolves were picking off your friends at con :O
-
four words: boot to the face! (of the wolves.) Though... are you using the term wolves as a metaphor?
how do you spell VW?
-
............ Is this a trick question.... I feel dumb :O
What would you do if anime characters started walking out of manga and television sets like everything was normal???
-
............ Is this a trick question.... I feel dumb :O
What would you do if anime characters started walking out of manga and television sets like everything was normal???
hehe, I was just playing off of that "blond(e)" song where she "can't spell VW but I've got a Porche"
^ um... glomp them depending on the character.
v I'm feeling depressed, what game should I play?
-
The count the bad things in your life game?
I'm too impatient to wait for my cosplay wigs, what should I do?
-
^ shave your head and make a wig out of the hair.
v If you knew there was a black hole near earth, what would be the last thing you would do before getting sucked in?
-
I would run around screaming childrens rymes and not say goodbye to anyone!!!!
What would you do to properly express yourself?
-
moors code through hitting my head on the wall.
what would you do if your batteries never died?
-
USE EVERYTHING FOREVER
What would you do if being on the computer for an hour gave you tumors.
-
rejoice
what would you do if your significant other "out of nowhere" has a STD?
-
explode
I cant find an anime character that resembles my personality!!!
-
eat a cookie
zombies have a new favorite food: toe nail clippings. Feed them or no?
-
as long as they dont wanna clip them themselves, sure!
I want to be a vampire
-
have me bite your neck, but your bf might not like it.
where can I find some good daft punk?
-
No he would not.
Buy five copies of the Tron soundtrack!
How do I learn to nyan????
-
ask a wicked witch to change you into a kitty
Why can't AOL send DVD RW's? I kinda miss the good ol' days...
-
Invent a time machine, sell it for a lot of cash, use that cash to make today the good ol' days....
How do I defeat my boyfriends 7 evil exes?
-
Use the time machine from the previous reply, then make everyone from like around WW1 to present keep voting for staunch social conservatives in politics and in school districts. You boyfriend will then grow up in a wonderful, Mayberry RFD-like society almost unimaginable today: with plenty of strong institutions like his extended family, schools, churches, and probably most important - entertainers - all supporting and expecting him to save himself and keep himself clean and unsullied (doctors would only prescribe birth control to married couples who had already had children) all until he meets the one "right girl" - YOU. That way, there won't be any ex-s to worry about at all, and in that world they'd all be nice girls if you met them, not evil. They'd probably only have gotten as far as playing cards, under the watchful eye of a chaperone...
But of course, you will have to be just as chaste as this gentleman - remember, he WILL be a dashing and romantic gentleman, and he will court you with grace and panache!
Best (or in this thread: WORST) anime-related place to retire?
-
^ If you're looking for an anime related place to retire to, I'd pick Shiganshina.
V I wanna rearrange George W. Bush's face with my foot (Captain Levi had his way with Eren), but I don't want to end up in Gitmo. What should I do?
-
Working over a 69-year old man. That takes some real guts, so watch all the 'Rocky' movies and concentrate on the training scenes.
Fun reference to Shiganshina! 'Wall Maria' made me think they might even have a Wall-Mart there...
(Worst) Dessert recipe?
(Takes a LOT of time, lots of chances to make a game-over mistake, small output for large effort invested?)
-
^ Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans
V I'm addicted to "Flyers" by BRADIO. What should I do?
-
^ Blast Anton Bruckner's TE DEUM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmsnQA2TdWw) and HELGOLAND (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TomusfjpZHs) through your head!
There's some TOUGH singing!
Best cosplay for a woman or man at age 60? (I need to plan in advance...)
-
^ Woman: Maya the Bee; Man: Boss Baby.
I'm watching PAW Patrol, what do I do to stop watching it?
-
Switch to watching "The Rat Patrol" (1966-1968)
How to find a fun con with lots of conservatives, few visible tattoos, and no SJW drama?
-
^ Establish one in which guns are permitted.
I currently have an A in my single college course right now, and I'd like to keep it that way.